In this moment, I write with deep emotions, in clarity and gratitude.  
Some of you read last week’s Ripple, in which I addressed the inquiries of an anonymous reader. The reader’s words have not left me. They have echoed repeatedly. They struck a chord. They triggered me. In this way, the reader has provided a service, an offering which has deepened my inner journey.
The words, “You’re a runner … What are you running from?” have replayed in my mind at the most interesting times.
While I stand by my decision to travel indefinitely, in alignment with the heart’s desires, I have discovered some hidden truth in the anonymous reader’s words – truth which his conscious mind could not have known. In this way, Spirit works.
Spirit often orchestrates an emotional trigger, a jab to the ego, as a means to wake us up; to free us.
Because of those echoing words, “You’re a runner…” I have become aware of another aspect of my life in which I have grown accustomed to running.
My ego did not want me to see this truth. My mind initially rejected the reader’s words. Rejected them, because the assumptive words seemed out of context. Yet, seeds of truth lay within them.
In this non-linear way, Spirit works.   
We humans live 98% of our lives from the subconscious and unconscious levels. While I have studied this a great deal, and been involved in years of experiential work to increase the rate of consciousness and volition with which I operate, humility will make us wiser than any studies.
Knowing something with the mind does not mean we transcend a pattern or habit.
Transcending pattern and habit require a great deal of self-honesty, and, you guessed it: HUMILITY.
Last week I talked about how emotional triggers usually represent some fear or insecurity which we’ve yet to transcend.
This is true, but there’s more.
Emotional triggers are also indicative of some truth we wish NOT to acknowledge.
There are lots of reasons for not acknowledging the truth, but let’s not examine all of them here. For effect, let me just keep this real, vulnerable, and personal.
I did not want to acknowledge the truth that I have a habit of running because running has kept me safe for a long time.
My ego, (interchange the word ego with identity or personality, because it is all usually the same) has detected danger many times in life. Intimacy has been one of the greatest perceived threats.
As such, I have run from intimate relationships, of the romantic kind.
My adventure buddy and boyfriend is accompanying me on this upcoming move abroad. However, lately my mind has been creating reasons to run from this partnership.
This partner is the most considerate, fun loving, warm spirited, intelligent, and open-hearted person I’ve ever known. That is absolutely terrifying to my ego – because my ego is more familiar with chaos than harmony.
You see, our egos are really our subconscious minds combined with a lifetime of accumulated emotional experiences.
Our subconscious mind is a child no older than seven (this aspect of the mind was mostly conditioned by that age).
Growing up was hard, for a lot of people. We are just trying to find our place, and trying to stay safe.
We learn in those early years how to perceive and avoid danger.
We learn when and how to run.
Then we live those defenses on autopilot for the rest of our lives … not knowing that we have any other choice.
The only way we get to make a new choice is to become conscious of the pattern.
Dear Lovely Anonymous Reader, thank you for your words. While seemingly out of context, the words were seeds, planted in the right places, enabling me to become more conscious.
May we all remember that when something triggers us emotionally, we’ve really just been given a gift.
If we can allow the surface layer emotion and knee jerk reaction to subside, then we have an opportunity to transcend something we’ve been carrying for so long … Something that we can now let go, so we may become freer.
Thank you for the invaluable growth opportunity!
I AM with you.

(Excerpt) Read more Here | 2019-07-08 19:04:16
Image credit: source

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.